The Cocksman's Whereabouts

I'd like to apologize to all my readers and illustrious, fruitful fanbase. Three months is a long time to go without a post, so I'd like to take a moment to apologize once again. Sorry. My bad. But in the words of poet laureate Dave Matthews, "Let's not try and take a shit when we haven't got any crap inside us." Yet, a lot has happened since May 1. Let's take a look back at some of the biggest stories of the last quarter year. 

1. Bernie Mac died. Yes, this was only two days ago, but the man born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough was a living legend. An Original King of Comedy. Moesha's Uncle Bernie. Mr. 3000. Mr. Bernie Mac. Dying at 50 is young, but I'm sure he's resting in peace right now. In his own words, "I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job." Not a bad way to live. Oceans 14 won't be the same without you. 

2. Obama wins Nomination. McCain compares Obama to Paris Hilton and then declares himself an American hero. John Edwards had an affair. And still, no one gives a fuck. Wake me up when September, and October, end. Is it November yet? 

3. Brett Favre to the Jets. Brett Favre. Brett Favre. Brett Favre Brett Favre. BrettFavre BrettFavre BrettFavre. BrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavre. Brett. Favre. 

4. Pineapple Express. One of the better comedies I've seen in a long time. Never a dull moment. A lot of blood. And a lot of smoking weed. If you have yet to, I suggest you hop on board and ride the express. 

5. The Dark Knight. IMDB ranking says it all. If going out on top is the way to go out, points for Heath Ledger. He joins the pantheon in acting immortality. 

6. Lil Wayne's Tha Carter III. Weezy's on top the world right now. Highlights include "Mr. Carter," "Dr. Carter," "Tie My Hands," "Shoot Me Down," and "Lollipop (remix)" featuring Kanye West, but really, the whole album is excellent. Like I said, Wayne's on top of the rap game, top of the world. Please don't shoot him down. Cause he's flying. He's high up...